Log in

LiveJournal for beinginloverox.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Saturday, October 13th, 2007

Subject:update-long overdue
Time:2:42 pm.
Mood: loved.
well goodness i havent written in this thing in forever. But seeing as everything has changed in my life i think that the best thing to do is write it all down. well i probably have the most amazing boyfriend that i could ever have. we met last summer. And i knew from the moment that i met him that i wanted to be with him. But because of that stupid stupid boy that was mentioned in previos entries i was upanble to let my heart love someone again. But despite the fact that my heart tried to black out every ounce of love, i still fell madly in love with him. All summer though i had been hiding my pain and running to guys for the wrong reason and i don't know if i continued runnign to guys in that way even after my heart had realized i loved nick because i was still trying to tell myselef i couldnt love yet, or if i was jsut weak, or what....but i will tell you there is nothing more that i would want than to take back all those moments i had with all those guys last fall and give them to nick...becuase he is the one that i want to share all my memories with. Anyways, thats not how it happened, and despite the fact that my heart knew that it wanted nick, i continued to go on dates and so forth with other guys in Austin while he stayed in Lubbock waiting for me (until i pushed him into the arms of antoher girl, which again is another thign that i wish didnt happen...but love isnt perfect sometimes) anyways, around this time last year i started dating a boy from my school...he was the typical tall, dark, handsom, football player. He wasn't right for me though. I never fell in love wiht him. And the entire time i was with him i still thought about nick every day and wondered what he was doing and if he was thinking of me. well we broke up about a month and a half later (by then nick was way mad at me and had started seeing another girl, that i didnt find out about till months and months later). Anyways, when micah and i wer through nick was still there for me. And around thanksgiving is when i realized that no other guy could compare to him. I went up there christmas time...but he was working the entire time and i didnt see him but once but i still knew that my heart belonged to him. Begining of february i found out about the girl that he had been involved with while i was with micah and a little after that and i will tell you i dont think that i have ever cried that hard. my heart was completely broken, and i dont even know why because i knew that i had been involved with several other guys since the time that i had met nick, but it still hurt that he cvould like and possibly love another girl. I knew right then that there was no way i could wait unntil i moved to Lubbbock in the summer to date him. And we ended up going out on February 6, 2007. I went up to see him in March during spring break and i will tell you 100% that i have never ever ever ever EVER EVER felt so happy and so in love with one perrson in my entire life. the whole time i was there was perfect. He was that best boyfriend that i could ever have (and he continues to be). I cried when i left because i knew how mcuh i would miss him but i also knew that our love was strong enough to make it. I moved here at the end of may and we spent the enitre summer together. Our love gre with every day and he was there for me through everything. I now go to texas tech and we are still together and i am still madly in love. I will tell you, we arent perfect. Sometimes we fight like hell, and get so mad at each other. Bt at the end of each day when i am laying in bed i know that he is the one that i am meant to be with because there is no one else in this entire world that makes me feel the way he makes me feel. I don't knwo when it hit me but one night i jsut realized that he was the one that i wanted to spend the rest of my lfie with...i dont know if it's those nights that we lay in the abck of his truck and look up at the stairs, or when we are jsut laying in bed together watching tv, or when we are playing in the park, or going to the movies, or dinner...but when im with him im happy and i knwo that no matter if nick and i were to have all the money in the world, or be dirt poor there would never be a dull moment and i could always have fun with him and be happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and that is a huge deal to me. Im the girl who had said for a year that there is no way that i wanted to commit to someone or fall in love again because i didnt want to get hurt. but i love him so much and i know that i want to be with him forver and build a life together. I jsut want to wait until i'm out of school because my school and future career mean a lot to me. But i know if he were to ask me tomorrow, a wek from now, a month from now, a year from now i would say yes. Anyways, things are good, school s good, and life is good
kiss me

Monday, June 20th, 2005

Subject:in love, and loving it
Time:5:03 pm.
have you ever felt so incredibly in love that you don't know what to do? that's how i feel right now. just when you think, i'm in love, things cant possibly get any better than this, you find another suprise waiting for you that makes everything so wonderful. Today i got my license, wednsday i have my birthday dinner at mangia (if any of you want to join us) and next monday i turn 17, and to top it all off i have the best friends in the world and am in love with the best guy in the world! i love you charlie!

"and it you're ever feeling lonely, jsut look at the spaces between your fingers, thats where mine will always fit perfectly"
13 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Thursday, June 9th, 2005

Time:11:35 am.
well so far this summer i have been to my grandparents (where all my friends and i did was sit around the pool and get buuuuurrrnnneeed) and then i came back for like half a day adn then i headed off to south padre with charlie (my boyfriend) and his family. that was sooo much fun. we layed around on the beach, swam and hot tubbed in the pool, watyched movies, shopped, and spent three days in a row at schlitterbahn!!! now i am back to have so relaxation time. no plans yet, although i guess i have to get a summer job sometime soon!

p.s. i love charlie soooo much
kiss me

Wednesday, April 20th, 2005

Subject:life is getting better all the time
Time:8:03 am.
i think that things are starting to get better in my life. sure lately i have made some really stupid mistakes and ended up hurting and disappointing people that i never meant to, but overall i think that my outlook on life and the way that i handle things that are thrown at me has changed and im so happy. summer is almost here and that is definatly a plus. what could be better than lounging at the pool all day and getting tan???? i sure dont know. i think that this summer is going to kick ass. although it will have to top the two best summers of my life, last year's summer (2004) and the summer before that (2003). Both of those summers were some of the best times ever and its going to be hard to live up to those, but im sure that this summer has a few spectacular moments up ahead.

"never frown, you never know who might be falling in love with your smile"

2 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Monday, February 28th, 2005

Time:6:29 pm.
well here goes...
wow, life now. i think the only good parts about my life are tight now are my awesome friends and my wonderful boyfriend. i love him to death with all of my heart. im jsut really scared right now, and i want more than anything to just know that everything is going to be okay. i want to know that life is going to get better with my parents and that they can trust me again someday, that my grades will stay good and i wont fail any tests, that my parents arent going to be hard on me and we will all make it through this. Charlie says we will make it through this, and i honestly think we can and know that we can. i just want these two weeks to be over. i love him to death and am crazy about him. i jsut want these two weeks to be over
I love you with all my heart my baby!
j'ai t'aime avec un tout mon coeur mon bebe!

9 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Saturday, February 19th, 2005

Time:7:35 am.
last night was fun. emily and i had a blast singing ashlee simpson songs at the top of our lungs in the car to the entire neaighborhood. Today i am going with charlie to his llacrosse game in san antonio.
2 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Tuesday, February 15th, 2005

Time:10:48 pm.
i think that lately things have been wierd for me, but also extremely happy in some ways. im finding out a lot about people that i never knew. some good, some bad, but none of it is anything that i cant handle. right now i love everyone in my life.
emily - you are my best friend in the entire world and you mean so much to me. you are always there when i need someone to turn to. we have had so many guy problems over the year and we have always been there for me. ive been there through the whole martin/emily on and off, and you were there for me through those agonizing months of getting over you-know who, and everything he did to me mentaly and phyiscally. i dont know what i would have done without you. You were my sholder to cry on, you were my smile when i thought i wouldnt smile again, adn i know that if anything like that ever happened (which it never will) you would be there for me. You are my human reason. you help clerify a lot of ideas and emotions going on in my brain, and keep me from making a lot of rash decisions. Now, when i am happier than i think i have ever been, you are still there for me. we talk to eahc other about our emotions, we dance stupidly in public, and sometimes we still cry together. its all part of getting older, adn you have made the past five years wonderful. I LOVE YOU TO DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

kiss me

Sunday, February 6th, 2005

Time:10:17 pm.
hell yes!!!!!!! today was the first day that i was ungrounded. wow two long weeks apart from charlie that was madness. today was the best day that i have had in a while and i loved it sooooo much. as soon as charlie got up i went over to his house and stayed with him allll day and i just got home like 20 minutes ago. have i mentioned how truely amazing that boy is and i dont care what anyone thinks i love him to death and that is all that matters. this weekend uadrey adn i are going to go shopping. and i thinking emily and i are going to go also because her and io have to get valentines gifts. lol,m boys are so ahrd to shop for. haha. girls are so easy i think. get them jewelry, or stuffed animals, or clothes or somehting and they will love you forever, but guys are hard., but ohh well, i hvae a good idea for charlie.
10 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Tuesday, February 1st, 2005

Time:8:09 am.
goodmorning, well today i am going to school, although i really dont feel like it because i over slept and want to just go back and sleep until 12 like i hvae the past three days but that is okay. im sooo happy though that charlie is coming home tongiht, ive missed him, but i know that he has been having a lot of fun snowboarding (actually i wouldnt know because i dont know how to ski or snowboard) but he tells me its fun. today i have a test i think 5th period, so that means studying during lunch. i love how on friday when we got out early because of the flooding i was like "yes i get to miss my test and now i can actually study for it over the weekend" and all i reallly did this weekend was sit in my room and watch tv, go to a baby shower (not mine hahah emily) and talk to charlie who i miss a lot. cant wait for this weekend to come, because then im ungrounded!!! yay!
2 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Thursday, January 27th, 2005

Time:11:10 pm.
ok, new entry, the last one was getting way too many comments. so today after school i went to yearbook adn then charlie came to see me and we were hanging out in the hall ways but then he picked me up adn was holding me adn i felt like i was in a swing or on a rocking horse because he kept swaying me back and forth. lol, then we had fun with his drum sticks and messing around. I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH haha and u know what i have decided, that i dont care who says what about us, the apst is in thew apst so people need to get over it, adn deal with it, because im madley in love with charlie and that is all that matters at this point
21 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Tuesday, January 25th, 2005

Time:7:48 pm.

im in love with this boy...


muah , he is so wonderfulCollapse )

25 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Sunday, January 23rd, 2005

Subject:i love him to death
Time:10:04 pm.
have you ever wanted to cry so hard you dont know what to do???? thats how this weekened turned out for me. everything screwed up by one wrong move. i cant talk or see charlie for 2 weeks which is torture!!! there is one thing that is good about all this though. its that i learned how in love with him i really am. when i was crying he would jsut hold me and tell me that he wasnt going to run away and that we would get through this together and that everything was going to be okay and that he was here for me. i love him more than life and im sooo happy we are togehter i dont know what to do. I LOVE HIM TO DEATH and i am soo in love with him.

"can i run away with you? i want to get lost in love baby"



1 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Wednesday, January 19th, 2005

Time:11:58 pm.
today i woke up early to go to school but ended up getting there right before the ten minutes bell. anmyways, after school charlie ashley and lauren and i went to magnolia and that was a bunch of fun because ashley was basically telling every embaressing thing that happened this one night with us to the water lol (someone has a crush on him lol) then charlie and i stayed there until 630 when his mom and sister came to pick us up but they eneded up goign insde to order some food so we stayed out in the car and made out and then we went to his house and hung out until 8 when i came home and i did homework and that is about all

"im so in love with you boy"

1 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Sunday, January 9th, 2005

Time:11:08 pm.

im soooo in love with him i cant breathe.

"We gotta make love just one last time in the shower
Well something's gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feelin' way too damn

And it's like
Every time I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down and
Where it lands is where it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
'Cause something's gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feeling way too
damn good
Feelin' way too damn good"



2 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Wednesday, January 5th, 2005

Time:9:58 pm.
wouldnt life be perfect if sweatpants were sexy, mondays were fun, junk food didnt make you fat, girls didnt cause drama, boys werent so confusing, nothing was regrettable, you didnt have to lose people you love, friendships didnt fade,wars were unheard of and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow

isnt this sooo true....there has been so much drama lately with all my friends, no major drama in my life really, life is pretty good, but still....i think that life owuld be absolutly perfect if those things applied. hahaha. anyways, first day of lacrosse practise was today, that absolutly about killed me!!!! eeekkkk...and ms slow poke over here ran the mile in 10 minutes and 1 second. haha i did work out over the break so i was soooo out of shape.

i love you charlie!
and i love all my friends too!

9 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Tuesday, January 4th, 2005

Time:8:27 pm.
haha...well if this isnt the furthest from the truth!!!!!

Insanity Test
Your problem is Sexual Addiction
Will you ever be cured? (8) - Yes - definitely. - (8)
Just how crazy are you? - 86%
This quiz by insanitydefense - Taken 350066 Times.
New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

kiss me

Monday, January 3rd, 2005

Subject:a bientot christmas...hello 2005
Time:9:25 pm.

the past few days of xmas vacatin have been wpnderful. yeasterday i hung out at my house and then i went out to eat with charlie adn his parents at chuys and that was good (even though charlie was drawing all over the table adn writing my number on the table and stuff) then we went to his house and hung out in his room and then watched some tv and that was fun. then i had to come home....sadness. anyywas, today i got up and watched soap operas, then charlie came over and we were in ym room, then his dad came voer and he took charlie and i to the mall, and charlie took me ona shopping spree, and i swear i love that boy to death! i have the most wonderful bf ever!!!!!!!!!!! seriosly though im sooooo crazy about him!!!!!!

tomorow it is off to school, and im going to miss the wonderful days of winter but im excited to see all my freinds!


goodbye wonderufl winter days in the snow......but im glad to see my friends back at schoolCollapse )

1 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Sunday, January 2nd, 2005

Time:1:18 pm.
so yeah, the past few days have been fun. yeasterday emily came over around two and we walked to hula hut and had lunch togehter nad talked and laughed about our events over xmas and the people we met this summer nad everything was wonderful. ive missed that girl sooooo much and it was so nice to be with her. then we walked to the dock by hula hut and set there annd listened to her ipod and i let her listen to my new cd and we painted our nails and tlaked. then it was time to head home so we walked back to her house down exposition. but we first stopped at randalls so that we could get some propel lol. then back to her house and i borrowed a shirt because mine got a stop on it, and then i went home and changed and hung out at ym house, talkingf to the family and listening to music and tlaking online. then charlie came over adn got me ansd we went to his house with will and will, charlie, katherine, and i all hung out in his room and played sonic and then charlie played this other gfame. while the boys were busy on the computer and playstation katherine and i put up their hair in pritty bows and clips and it looked so cute. then we ate pizza, jumped on the trampoline adn went outside and shot off fireworks. it was soooo much fun then i had to go home :( sadness. i love him soooooooooo much

kiss me

Saturday, January 1st, 2005

Time:1:52 am.
let me tell you, i spent the entire night with someone who:
1. just got his his braces off
2. has the cutest smile in the world
3. tickles me on my feet even though he knows it drives me crazy
4. can make me smile no matter how hard i dont want to
5. knows exactly what to do to cheer me up
6. makes me feel so happy and safe
7. makes me feel like jessica simpson when i talk to him
8. reminds me every day how much he loves me
9. never makes me sad (unless i am away from him)
10. has four diffenret ways to get in touch with me when i need him or he needs me: telephones, IM, walky-talkies(yes we are dorks), and jsut riding his bike over to my house.
11. can look cute in everything he wears
12. makes me feel so comfortable wrapped in his arms
13. can make me feel like i lay next to him forever
14. everytime i see him i fall in love with him all over again
15. i am soo crazy in love with!

happy new years......i hope that the next year is soooooo wodnerful and full of suprises!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love everyone! whats ur new years resolution???? i have mine!

1 and lets fall in love | kiss me

Thursday, December 30th, 2004

Time:11:44 pm.
im home im home im home!
i could hardly breathe this morning i was sooo excited, and charlie picked me up frm the airport, adn i think ive smiled more than i have all vacation. we hung out the whole day adnm wentr to soniscs adn went to his house nad came abck to mine and went to the movies and everything was wonderful!!!!! IM SOOO IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!
ive missed all my friend sooo much too!!
3 and lets fall in love | kiss me

LiveJournal for beinginloverox.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.